Can i not drive my cunt home
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
this is an emotional support booty call
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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