i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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