So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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