Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize