She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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