I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
