i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize