btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
