hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
