Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize