I am full of burrito and curiosity
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
