WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
