sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
where does the pee come out of this thing
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
