Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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