So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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