'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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