You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
