So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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