Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Sext me about skeletons
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
