fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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