I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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