whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
