My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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