You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize