and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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