dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my shit smells like andre
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
