Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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