Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
