If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
there was a trapeze. enough said
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
