I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Randomize
