4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
