wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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