Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry FreddoKz hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?

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(310): View more from California

When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.

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(714): View more from California

you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"

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(530): View more from California

tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner

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(845): View more from New York

I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings

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(904): View more from Florida

My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.

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(646): View more from New York

I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend

(919): View more from North Carolina

You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...

(402): View more from Nebraska

You just don't understand... :'(

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