what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
