So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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