You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
