He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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