You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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