Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
