I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
