worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
