I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
