Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
