didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
