they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
