is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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