she smelled like a LAN party
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
