I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
