No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize