ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
