if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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