im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Randomize
