When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
