u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He did a backflip because drugs
I forget how to act sober
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
