is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
