someone get that fucking seahorse.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
