My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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