Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
