I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
