I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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