Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
